How To Grow A Zen Child (Growing Happy, Healthy Children Naturally)

When children are raised naturally, in keeping withour nation and in the process of child rearing. Nothing
their own true hearts, it is common for them to becould be worse for both the parents and children.
healthy, expressive and creative. This article showsComparing your child's progress, scores or abilities
how to apply the principles of Zen to raising yourwith those of other children tell you absolutely
child, and in the process growing happy yourself.nothing about who he/she is, or how they will do in
Specific steps are included. Article is by well knowntheir lives. There are many ways and timetables for
psychologist, author and Zen practitioner. Whendeveloping, and different gifts and abilities that
children are raised naturally, in keeping with their owndifferent children have.
true hearts, there is nothing that we need to teachRemember that being different doesn't mean being
them about Zen. In fact, the children then becomebetter or worse. Many kinds of trees and flowers are
our teachers, reminding us of what is important andneeded in a garden. An apple tree will produce the
expressing themselves naturally.best possible apples, don't force it to give you pears.
To grow a Zen child, means to raise a healthy,Not only will that distort it's growth, but it will make
expressive, creative child--a child easily in touch withthe apple tree very sad. A garden with only one kind
who they truly are. This child is naturally curious aboutof flower would become uninteresting. Just as we
life, experiencing each day as an adventure, going toneed roses, tulips, lilies, etc. for the garden to be
sleep happy at night. This is a child to whom sharingcomplete, we need all kinds of different children to
comes naturally, who can laugh when things aremake a whole world. 3) Allow Your Child To Express
funny and cry when they're sad, who is not terrifiedWho She Is There are many, many constrictions
of the consequences of their behavior or focusedplaced upon what children are allowed to express.
unnecessarily upon reactions of adults. This child thenThere is a demand for politeness, control and
becomes strong and stable, able to weather all kindscensure coupled with the intrinsic notion that certain
of conflicting demands and pressures. Actually, all ofthoughts and feelings are bad and cannot or should
Zen practice comes simply to teach us how tonot be expressed. The child develops the sense that
become a child once again. Not how to becomecertain parts of them are bad and unacceptable. This
childish, but child-like, how to tap the naturalcauses these parts to go underground, and become
knowingness and spontaneity we were all born with,the source of symptoms of all kinds.
to find delight in our days and share it with others.Help the child find a way to communicate and
In order to grow a Zen child certain basic steps needexpress whatever he/she is going through. It can be
to be honored and taken. These steps are notdone through words, song, art, plays, dancing
difficult though they may be different from the waystogether, planting flowers. Make sure you find a way
in which we have usually been trained to think aboutto let them know you truly hear what it is they need
child-rearing.to say. The child's self worth will then grow.
Some Steps To Growing A Zen Child 1) Honor The4) Look For And See The Best In All The Child Does
Child's Natural Wisdom And Gifts Most of us feel thatRather than find fault, criticize, punish and negate the
we have to fill our children with information,child in the thousands of ways we usually do,
knowledge, skills, direction. From the moment theyspecifically look for and see the best in the child and
are born we must "mold" them in the right direction,all that they do. Acknowledge it to them as well.
so that they will grow to fulfill our values and imagesEveryday let the child know something you are truly
of a successful adult. We do not stop a moment andproud of them for and pleased with about them.
question how these images have impacted upon us,However, sadly, in many situations the opposite
how fulfilled and whole our lives are. We teach ouroccurs, praise and acknowledgement is given rarely,
children much more by who we are than by whatin a context of criticism and complaint. Turn this
we preach.around. Let the child realize that though they may
All children have their own innate wisdom, rhythms,have made an error, the totality of who they are is
sense of exploration, and ability to express what iswonderful.
most dear to them. Our job as caretakers is toYou can also ask them what they are pleased with
create a loving, safe environment in which both weand proud of about you. If there is something
and they can discover who they are. Raising children,troubling them in the relationship, this is a time it will
(like Zen practice) is a process of discovery. Wecome to the fore. There is nothing more crucial than
must take our lead from the children, not imposekeeping open lines of full communication between
ourselves upon them.parents and child.
When children feel so deeply respected, all that is5) Grow Yourself! Of course as parents grow a Zen
best and natural emerges easily. Their full intelligencechild, they are simultaneously growing themselves.
and abilities become available to them. This kind ofThe way we treat another, reflects back upon us.
child will not become aggressive, distracted and filledThe beauty and goodness we find in another, we
with all kinds of fears. When a being's basic nature isbegin to see wherever we go. As we loosen the
not interfered with, it becomes empowered tobonds and chains we tie our children in, we are
function at its best.always freeing ourselves as well. Power struggles
2) Don't Compare Your Child With Others Conformitydisappear in these kinds of relationships, and make
and competition have become a craze (and plague) inlots of room for love to grow.